Stupid Thing
by Fate Believer
Summary: said maybe I don't want my wife back. Maybe I love my kids, but I'm not in love with my wife anymore. Maybe she wants me to choose between what I love. I'm not giving up my job, because I'd think I'd go crazy"
1. Default Chapter

Title: Stupid Thing 

Author:

Pairing: E/O

Rating: PG-13, for strong language and sexual situations

Summary: Good music, too much to drink. He'd called her again...

Spoilers: Eh, probably up to Quarry. Just episode references :)

Disclaimer: Don't sue....they don't belong to me...and all I got is some lint in my pocket. The band 'Nickel' owns the song Stupid Thing. It's a great song...you can find it at their website

Feedback: Please! I have insomnia, can't decide what I want do with Youthful Indiscretions, and this one came to me in the middle of the night

I did a stupid thing last night,  
I called you.  
A moment of weakness.  
No, not a moment,  
More like three months of weakness.

I'm one step away from crashing to my knees.  
One step away from spilling my guts to you.

I did a stupid thing last night,  
I called you.  
I'm doing all right.  
No, don't feel sorry for me,  
Really, I'm all right.

I'm one step away from crashing to my knees.  
One step away from spilling my guts to you.

You see, there's this huge chunk of me missing.  
It's gone.  
And I can' feel it, I can't feel it,  
I can't feel.

I did a stupid thing last night,  
I called you.  
It's the last time,  
And maybe tomorrow night, will be the last time...

And I'm one step away from crashing to my knees.  
(One step away from crashing to my knees)  
One step away from spilling my guts to you.  
(One step away from spilling my guts to you)  
One step away from crashing to my knees.  
(One step away from spilling my guts to you)  
One step away from spilling my guts to you.  
(One step away from spilling my guts to you)

Home of Elliot Stabler

He woke with a pounding in his head. Great, must have been one of those nights again. More often than not when he wasn't at work he was drowning at one of the local bars. The bartenders were getting to know him quite well, as again more often than not, he had to call someone to bring him home. Apparently, last night had been no exception. He winced when he thought of how badly Olivia was going to chew his ass when he finally got to the station house. She was number one on his speed dial and generally that was all he could remember.

For the past two weeks now, he had only gotten home because of her. He didn't think she even slept that much anymore, just laid there until the phone rang. Honestly, she didn't even say anything anymore. Just got him in the car and helped into his apartment. She'd feed him aspirin and help sober him up before she went home. He couldn't remember her doing that last night though. He couldn't remember anything but his friend Jack Daniels. Now he was paying for it. He just hoped he could butter her up with coffee and maybe some kind of bagel or pasty.

Last night had been particularly hard. He'd been with Kathy and Dickie at the hospital for two days. Kathy barely spoke to him and he guessed it was just as well. However, even with him being sick, Dickie still wanted to talk about when he and Mom were going to come back home. Kathy had told him that right now Daddy was just too busy with his job and that she needed the extra help taking care of all of them. Great, make him the bad guy. Yet, he supposed she was right. It was his fault she had left. He hadn't given her or their kids the attention they so needed and deserved. All he had ever wanted was to provide for his family and to make sure they were safe.

Elliot shook his head to clear his thoughts and stumbled out of bed. God, he didn't want to work. He wanted to crawl back in his bed and pretend it was all one big nightmare. That his wife hadn't taken their kids and left him, that he hadn't failed as a husband and a partner....oh shit. That brought on a whole other wave of guilt. Cragen and Munch had been taking up the slack for him while Dickie was in the hospital. Sure, he had seen his partner, but it had been for his emotional benefit. Crap, where was he when she needed his emotional support?

He wasn't going to pretend this case had been easy on her. Obviously, if their only lucid conversation had been the one in the stationhouse last night. She had been worried about what kind of genes she would pass on to her kids...he'd responded automatically when she said something about how she herself had been raised.

'Look how great you turned out' he had told her.

There was nothing more true. No matter how she had been brought up or what kind of genetics she had been given, Olivia had the biggest heart of anyone he had ever met. Sometimes she wore it on her sleeve. Besides, look at how she took care of him. Since she found out Kathy left him, she had been nothing but supportive. Asking him if counseling wouldn't work, anything she thought might help reconcile him with his wife. She didn't understand though. He could go back to Kathy, but only on one condition. That he gave up being a detective. He couldn't do that. He couldn't just walk away from this job and he wouldn't walk away from his partner.

He had scoffed at Olivia when they first started working together. She believed in the whole soulmate thing. At the time he thought that it was complete bullshit, but over the years he had come to realize that she was right. Everyone did have a soulmate. Unfourtanetly for him, his wasn't Kathy. No, his soulmate came in the shape of a partner. As Kathleen would often tell Dickie and Lizzie 'that's so totally against the rules". He didn't deny that it was. Hell, he knew better than anyone that it was.

Elliot was so lost in his thoughts that it didn't hit him until he got out of the shower that he smelled coffee brewing. Definately odd, because the last time he checked he lived alone. Hurriedly, he threw on a pair of pants and headed down the stairs. He cursed softly when he realized he didn't bring his gun, but then again what kind of burglar brewed coffee in the house they were robbing anyways. However, the sight that greeted him made his jaw drop.

Olivia was cooking breakfast in his kitchen, or at least trying too. That wasn't the fasinating part to Elliot though. No, the real jaw dropper was that she was wearing his clothes. His NYPD shirt hung almost down to her knees and she had on a pair of his socks.

Just what the hell had happened last night? Or maybe the better question was why was he so disappointed that he couldn't remember?

Olivia seemed to sense his presence and turned to face him with a grin.

" It's about time you got your lazy ass up, Partner. I told myself if you weren't up in ten minutes, I was going to do something drastic" she teased

His mouth finally shut when she handed him a cup of coffee. Who knew Olivia had domestic tendencies?

"Uhhh Liv..." he began quietly.

His confusion seemed to amuse her because she looked like she was trying hard not to laugh at him. How was this funny? He had dreamed about making love to his partner but now that maybe he had...he couldn't remember? Briefly, he wondered if he'd died and gone to Hell.

" Relex, Stabler. Nothing happened last night, except for that fact you refused to release your death grip on me when you got to bed. I managed to sneak away in the middle of the night to steal your tshirt. The clothes I was wearing weren't really designed for comfortable sleepwear." she told him, the grin never leaving her face.

He took another swallow of his coffee and narrowed his eyes at her. She set him up, because she knew he'd be too drunk to remember anything. He would have believed anything she told him, because after all, it was Liv.

" You're evil, you know that Olivia? "

She just continued to grin at him, looking pleased with herself. When he refused to see the amusement in the situation, she sidled up beside him and slung an arm around his waist.

" I may be evil, but I bet I can guarantee one thing" she smirked.

He only looked at her with a scowl.

" I bet the next time you think about getting shitfaced to the point you did last night, you'll remember this morning"

He offered no response, merely raised an eyebrow. She in return dropped the smirk from her face, noticing he wasn't amused. She sighed and led him over to the stool by the island.

"Listen El, I know you're hurting, but getting drunk every night? Not the answer. You're hungover and cranky most of the time and I for one would really like my partner back. I'm here whenever you need to talk, but drowning your sorrows isn't going to help. If you want your wife back, you have to show her. "

Elliot muttered something she couldn't hear and she leaned closer to hear him...

"Can't hear you Stabler, you gotta speak up"

He turned to her with a lost expression on her face.

"I said maybe I don't want my wife back. Maybe I love my kids, but I'm not in love with my wife anymore. Maybe she wants me to choose between what I love. I'm not giving up my job, because I'd think I'd go crazy"

"Elliot, you know Kathy would never-" she started.

" She already did " he cut her off.

Olivia was silent. She had no answer to that. More than anything she wanted Elliot to be happy, but she couldn't see herself with another partner. She didn't want too. If Kathy wanted Elliot to give up his job as a cop, maybe they couldn't reconcile. All Elliot knew how to be was a cop. It wasn't just what he did, being a cop was part of who he was. If Kathy couldn't see that, they wouldn't have stayed married anyways.

With nothing else to say, Olivia just wrapped her arms around her partner and they stayed that way until they had no choice but to get ready for work.


	2. Two

Title: Stupid Thing 

Author: MariskaMelonifan05

Pairing: E/O, mentions of E/Oc, mentions of O/Oc

Rating : PG-13 to R, but only for strong language and maybe some sexual content...you'll have to wait and see.

Summary: Olivia helps Elliot work through his divorce.

Feedback: I thrive on it now...so please feed me.

Disclaimer: They're not mine..I really wish CM was, but then again who wouldn't?

Olivia wasn't sure just exactly how to react to what Elliot had told her. She hadn't said anything at the time when he told her of Kathy's ultimatum. They had gone to work, stopping by her apartment so she could change her clothes. She didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about her coming to work with Elliot in the same clothes she had worn the day before. Funny, if it was anyone else it wouldn't have mattered, but because it was Elliot she was more determined to make sure no one bothered him. Not anymore than what was necessary. She stubbornly refused to admit it was anything more than what Elliot would do for her.

See the problem was she loved her partner, and it most certainly wasn't in the whole brotherly type way. He had been her best friend for as long as she could remember. Pinpointing exactly when the exact time that she fell in love with him wasn't something even she could do. However, she was content for the most part to love him from a distance. At least that way there was absolutely no way he could truly hurt her. She also wasn't fool enough to believe that Elliot would ever betray his wife. One of the things she loved the most about him was his faith. However, not that he and Kathy were divorcing....bad Olivia! Don't go there. Going there only leads to lots of trouble. She had broken her rule about co-workers once, with Brian Cassidy. Poor guy, she really shouldn't have been such a bitch to him. Maybe she should have gave it a shot...then she wouldn't always be so lonely. What he had said to her about her job being an affair...that had always stuck with her. She had shared his thoughts with Elliot when they were headed out to a scene, and he had laughed. Called Cassidy a jealous little boy, that he didn't know what he was talking about. Now she wondered if they shouldn't have heeded Cassidy's advice. Maybe Elliot would still have his wife and family. Maybe Olivia wouldn't constantly be in turmoil, wondering how to get him back together with his wife, and at the same time desperately wishiing that they wouldn't reconcile.

Right now, the most important thing was keeping Elliot from getting drunk every night. Not just for his sake, but hers as well. Lying in a bed with him, with his body pressed up against hers had been complete and utter agony. Her backside had been tucked up against his front. This morning when she woke she scrambled out of the bed as quickly as possible. She had felt his arousal and she had really wanted to save both of the embarrassment. That and the fact she didn't trust herself. With only a few thin layers of clothing between them she didn't want anything to happen that he might have regretted.

See, the whole thing in the kitchen this morning that had been for his benefit. It kind of back fired on her though, because a) she thought it would make him laugh, yet he just seemed uncaring. The other thing though was she almost swore that she saw a flicker of disappointment in his eyes when she told him that they hadn't done anything. She didn't know if it was her wishful thinking or maybe Elliot just wasn't used to going without sex. It was too bad that little flicker was going to terrorize her thoughts for the rest of the day.

He'd been watching her all day when he thought she wouldn't catch him. She was definately deep in thought, otherwise he's be recieving the typical 'Liv' glare. The one she gave him when she found one of her pens chewed on or when he had his trademark shit eating smirk on his face. She'd never admit it, but he knew deep down that she liked when he got that look. Sometimes she'd give her glare, but after staring him for a moment her cheeks would blush. Oh, to know the thoughts of his partner somedays. In particular today though. She was even mimicking him, by chewing on the end of her pen. Liv hardly ever did that and she most certainly didn't do it when he could see her.

He leaned back in his chair with his arms folded, that smirk beginning to grace his face. Olivia didn't even look up. Not so much as a blink. He continued to stare.

"Stabler, just because I'm not acknowledging you doesn't mean you're invisiable" Olivia told him, never glancing up from the paperwork in front of her.

He pouted. She was no fun when she was like this. At least when he was annoying her, he wasn't thinking about Kathy. It wasn't like they had anything else to do today anyways. Apparently, the pedophiles and rapists in Manhattan had decided to stay in today. He supposed it was too fucking cold outside for even the stupid ones to want to adventure outside. He glanced out the window and then around the station house. Munch and Fin were engrossed in some kind of deep goverment coversation. Well, Munch was at least. Fin was just nodding in the appropriate places. Elliot couldn't help but chuckle. Munch actually believed his partner was paying attention to him. Apparently Fin and Olivia were taking lessons from each other on how to completely tune out your partner.

"Hey Liv" he tried again

His response was a disinterested 'hmm?". Damnit, why wouldn't she pay attention to him?

" There's a purple dotted fire breathing dragon behind your chair. I think he's going eat you." Elliot casually told her.

" That's nice, El" she said, still not looking at him. Well, damnit, he was going to have to resort to desperate measures.

"Liv-vy" he sing songed, almost doing a dance of triumph when she looked up at him, that glare on her face.

"Elliot, I'm only being nice cause you have a hangover. You forget when you go on the drinking binges that I'm the one who ends up picking you up, thus my sleep gets interrupted"  
He continued to sulk and she went back to her paperwork. A few moments later a paperclip came flying across her desk.

"Don't make me hurt you, Stabler"

She looked up to see him give a seemingly innocent shrug of his shoulders. What was worse was the self satisfied smirk on his face. She sighed and give in. She reached for her coat that was laid across the back of the chair. Elliot was quick to follow behind her, jacket in hand. He stood beside her queitly while they waited for the elevator. She just shook her head as they stepped in.

"Don't get ahead of yourself there, partner. I didn't say I was paying for lunch."

Olivia grinned when she heard him whine. It was only then that she allowed herself a satisfied smirk of her own.

Maloney's Pub

Olivia snorted and Elliot nearly fell off of his stool laughing. They had been here for so long they had lost count. All Elliot could remember was that they had both gone home to change clothes and met back up here. They had planned on leaving to go get some dinner and then head to a movie, but one drink led to another. Now Elliot was sure both he and his partner were avove the legal intox limit.

"Yeah, that's real lady like there partner. I think that big guy over in the corner is checking you out" he teased.

" Sorry, Elliot, he's not my type. Word around the office is I haven't been on a date in so long, I've turned into a lesbian" Olivia informed him with a grin.

Now it was his turn to snort.

"Sorry there Liv, I just don't see you as a skirt chaser"

" Well Casey's kind of cute..." she trailed off.

"Ahhh god Olivia don't do this" he pleaded with a laugh

"Oh come on, I'm sure you checked her out. She's got a cute little ass right?" Olivia responded.

"Okay, Olivia no more, you're cut off. I think you only agreed to this so you could once again torture me"

"Me? Torture? How?" she asked innocently.

She got no response, only silence. She tried again.

"How on earth could I possibly be torturing you"

"Nothin, 'Livia. Nevermind" . He threw some bills on the bar and stood up, grabbing her by the arm gently.

"Where we goin?" she asked after she finished her drink

"Time to go home, morning comes too early"

"Tomorrow's Saturday"

"We've had enough" he told her quietly.

Olivia decided not to press it and followed him out into the night. She didn't get it. One minute they're joking around, the next he closes up on her. She might have had too much to drink, but she wasn't a stumbling drunk. She had only been teasing him, trying to get him to have a little bit more fun. For the second time that day her sense of humor had clashed with his.

He hailed a cab and they climbed in. Elliot gave the cabbie Olivia's address while she looked on out the window. He hadn't meant to be short with her, but when she started talking about the office rumors and then commenting on Casey's ass, he hadn't wanted to hear anymore. Even just joking he had felt a faint stirring of jealousy, to be quickly followed by a pang of guilt. He was acting jealous over his partner looking at another woman's ass. He laughed out loud and Olivia looked at him strange. He merely shrugged and threw an arm around her shoulders.

"Sometimes just sometimes, I'm an idiot, Liv" he laughed.

"Only sometimes" she tossed back, a smile gracing her features again.

Elliot leaned in and kissed the top of her head, an action that seemed to take them both by surprise.

"Hey, maybe I should insult you more often, Stabler"

He merely smiled in response. The cab came to a stop and they both climbed out. Elliot moved to kiss her cheek, but she dodged.

"C'mon up. It's still early, we''ll find someone on tv to make fun of"

"Are you sure cause I can-" he was cut off.

"It's fine, Elliot. Now pay the driver and let's go, it's cold out here"

She wasn't sure why she had invited him up, but now he was here. While he found something on tv, she broke out the beer. More for her than him. She had a nice buzz going and it helped derail her thoughts from earlier. Now, she was going to enjoy some tv and some more quality time with her somtimes moody partner. When she plopped down beside him on the couch, she rolled her eyes. Yeah, his taste in television left something to be desired.

"Ya know something El, you and Dickie have more in common than you think. I'm not watching Jackass" she told him with an elbow to the ribs.

"Aww come on Liv, this is the one where they put that guy in the port-a-potty and turn it upside down. He gets covered-"

"Shut up, Stabler. If you want to live you won't share the rest of that sentence"

Elliot sulked and tried to discreetly hide the remote from her. Olivia would have none of it and lunged. They wrestled for a few minutes, with Olivia finally pinning Elliot down to the sofa.

"Hah, I win" she exclaimed, holding up her prize. Elliot grinned even wider.

"You've got the remote, but I definately got the better end of this deal" he gestured to their positioning.

In their struggle, Olivia had somehow straddled his lap. She had the decency to blush and quickly went to move off his lap. That proved to be difficult. Elliot's hands had somehow found their way to her hips, holding her in place.She squirmed uncomfortably and he pinched her side.

"Relax, Liv we're not doing anything wrong" he told her quietly. His hands begin to trace a circular pattern on her hips. She thought to argue with him, but when she looked at him, he was leering at her. Elliot Stabler was leering at her. She didn't know what to do. He had as much to drink as she had, and she knew they were playing in very dangerous territoy. He had been overly affectionate all night. His hand had been at the small of her back all day when he walked beside her. Hell, they had even danced to a few songs at the bar. It had been harmless fun between two friends.

Now here they were in her apartment all alone...and she was straddling her partner's lap. Why wasn't she moving his hands? Maybe the better question was why was she enjoying it?

"Liv?" his voice, soft and playful, pulled her from her thoughts.

She looked at him and responded "Yeah"

"Did you really check out Casey's ass" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Olivia threw her head back and laughed out loud. Elliot decided he liked that sound. She rarely ever laughed like that. She again tried to move off his lap, but he closed his arms around her. This time it was her turn to leer at him.

"Trust me, Elliot, Casey's got nothing on your ass" she said.

He grinned at her and she felt a small sigh of relief escape her.

"Can I tell you a secret, Liv" he asked seriously.

She shrugged and he leaned forward his mouth brushing against her ear. Suddenly that sigh of relief came out as a sharp but very well surpressed gasp.

"I spend so much time staring at your ass I've never noticed Casey's." his breath was hot against her ear.

Did she hear him right? Did he just admit to checking her ass out? She had to play this cool, otherwise they would both end up in trouble.

"Elliot Stabler!" she exclaimed in mock shock.

He shrugged his shoulders and looked completely unrepentant. His arms kept their hold and he stared her down for a moment before saying anything.

"Don't act surprised. For six years, I've worked beside a gorgeous woman. What did you think because you were a cop and my partner that I didn't notice just how incredibly sexy you are"

He got no reply, just shocked silence. He let out a long sigh before continuing on. His arms fell from around her waist and he gently set her back on the couch. She looked away from him, not knowing what to say. He grabbed her chin and turned her face back towards him. Slowly, she raised her eyes to meet his.

"Olivia, I might have been married and I may be your partner, but I've never denied to myself just how beautiful you are. I remember thinking to myself when you were first assigned to SVU, how am I ever going to get any work done? You said something about Cassidy wanting to see you again, I didn't hesitate to tell you that I couldn't blame him. Hell, I was jealous of the poor guy. He got to spend one night with you, and I thought I never would. You were so upset about getting work mixed up with your personal life and hell I wanted too! I wanted to be able to go home with you, just once. I hated Eckerson's guts. He had you and he treated you like crap. That reporter? If I'd have been given the oppurtunity, I'd have torn his fucking ass to shreds. After you told me about the shit he pulled in your apartment...he's lucky I didn't try and have his ass for assault-" Elliot took a deep breath before continuing on.

However Olivia's hand over his mouth stopped it.

"Listen to me, Elliot. You and I have had way too much to drink. Half of the things you're saying you're not gonna remember come morning. You and I are partners. You're my best friend and you're going through a divorce. You know you're only saying this stuff because you're upset and your lonely. I'm going to save us both the embarrassment and stop you now okay? In the morning, we'll forget it ever happened." Liv's voice was quiet and when she was done she took her hand from his mouth. She gave him a small smile and got up off the couch, heading towards the hallway to get the sheets for the sofa bed. He was too drunk to go anywhere, that much was obvious.

When she got back to the living room he was pacing the living room floor. She ignored him and began to remove the cushions from the couch. He moved her out of the way and pulled the bed from it's hiding spot. He set it up quickly but didn't speak to her. When she shook the sheet to spread it out on the bed, he snatched it from her hand. She stood back and watched him make up his bed, clenching his jaw the entire time. What the hell was the matter with him?

Elliot was fuming, but he was trying not to show it. She thought that speech could have come from a drunken man? He knew exactly what he was telling her. In a way he expected no less from her, because they worked together and because in her eyes he was still married. She didn't get it. He had already made his choice. He had chosen his job, but mostly he had chosen her. Kathy had given him a choice, and he had made it. He was ready, willing, and able to sign the papers. He didn't get drunk because he missed his wife. He was getting drunk because he missed a life that wasn't possible anymore. He had almost done it. He had almost walked away from his job, but Olivia had told him that wasn't who he was. She was right. He was Detective Elliot Stabler and he had wasn't going to make excuses about his job or his partner to his soon to be ex wife anymore. He also wasn't going to make excuses to himself about what he felt for Olivia.

"Elliot..." he heard her say softly.

"You know what Olivia? For once, you're wrong. I'm not that drunk and I know exactly what I'm saying. You just don't want to hear it because you just might know that I'm telling the truth. That I might make you want to break one of your rules again. Is that why you don't want to listen to what I'm telling you?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off before she could say anything.

"I'm not drinking because of Kathy, Liv. I'm drinking because I miss my kids and I miss having someone in my arms at night when I go to sleep. However, I accepted a long time ago that I wasn't missing Kathy. I was missing something I never had to start with. You. These few days we've been apart all I did was worry about how you were doing, what you were doing. I called Cragen every chance I got away from Dickie to make sure you were alright. That he didn't need me to come back. When Munch told me that guy had all of those pictures of you, that he'd been stalking you, I almost flew out of the hospital then. So don't stand there and tell me you're going to save us the embarrassment, because I'm not embarrassed. Yeah, my marriage failed. One of them anyways, because in a way this is a marriage too. I respect you, Liv. You know that, however I am still a man. A man who has a very beautiful partner, who can't see just how fucking beautiful she is. You're always looking for something that isn't there. There's nothing bad inside you, and I know that because I know you." Elliot finished his tirade and continued to stare down his partner.

He expected her to yell at him or maybe even hit him, but she did none of those things. Instead he did something he rarely ever saw her do. She ran. Down the hall and a moment later watched her bedroom door slam. Wearily, he sank down onto the bed he had just made. Great, just fucking great. Way to screw up your partnership, Stabler, he thought. He knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with her tonight as far as talking so he got up and made sure the door was locked. Then he turned off all the lights and climbed under the blankets. He was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep, but it was easier than he thought. He was out like a light, too physically and emotionally drained to brood anymore. He'd deal with the consquences of his actions in the morning.


	3. Three

Author: MariskaMeloniFan05

Pairing: E/O

Rating: PG-13 to R

Feedback: Please :)

When he woke in the morning, the apartment was quiet. Too quiet. He threw the blankets off him and made a beeline for Olivia's bedroom door. Throwing it open, his suspicions were confirmed. Her bed was already made and he cursed to himself. Leave it to Liv to sneak out while he was asleep. He must have been more tired than he thought. He had to have been in a deep sleep to not hear her sneak out. Elliot sighed and leaned against the doorframe. Then he quickly ran to the kitchen and grabbed his cell phone off the counter. He punched in the number he knew by heart and listened to it ring. Once, Twice, then the voicemail. It might be the weekend, but it was unusual for her to turn her cell phone off. He tried again

"Damnit, Olivia, answer your fucking phone," he barked into the phone when he got her voicemail once again.

He hung up the phone and let out a deep breath. Then, he ventured back into her room. He opened her closet and looked at the floor. Just as he thought. Her running shoes were gone. A quick look at the clock showed it was only eight thirty. Liv would be back soon, because she couldn't run forever. He had enough time to take a shower and start a pot of coffee before she got back. He would have the element of surprise, because Liv would have expected him to lock up and leave after he woke. She wouldn't expect him to hang around. He ventured into the bathroom and laid his cell down on the edge of the sink to keep it from plain view in case she got back early. He stripped out of his clothes and turned the water on. His head was pounding, but it had little to do with alcohol. No, this was purely a Liv headache. Similar to the one he'd gotten when she accused him of being on the rebound and flirting with Dr.Hendricks .He winced as he climbed under the stream of warm water. That definitely hadn't been one of their finer moments. It had been his fault as much as hers. He'd been the one who said something about her inferiority complex. Once he had stepped back and objectively looked at their situation, he realized what he'd done. In her eyes he had chosen Rebecca over her. To make it up to her he had taken her out to dinner at a nice restaurant. They'd had a good time after they cleared the air about what had happened.

Elliot shut the water off and grabbed a towel off the rack. He dried off quickly and pulled on the jeans he had worn the night before. He grabbed his phone off the sink and threw open the door. His fingers began to dial her number once again when he heard someone clear their throat. Olivia was standing in front of him, her hand holding out a cup of coffee to him. He grabbed it eagerly and tossed the phone on the couch as he walked towards the kitchen. She followed behind him at safe distance.

"I was just about to put a pot on actually," he said without turning to look at her.

"I, uh, I ran out yesterday morning. Haven't felt like going grocery shopping yet," she replied softly.

He turned and leaned against the counter. He sipped his coffee slowly and watched her for a moment. She had pushed herself to the limit as far as her running. Sweat was beaded around her brow and her hair was mussed. She had worn a baggy t-shirt and running pants, but he still thought she was beautiful. She was nervous, he thought. She was fidgeting, something very unusual for Olivia. She always managed to keep her cool, but today she wasn't doing a very good job.

"Relax, Liv. You're not a perp and I'm not going to interrogate you," he finally told her.

She visibly relaxed.

"That doesn't mean I don't wanna kick your ass for running out of here without leaving a note," he added.

"Elliot, I just needed to clear my head. You laid an awful lot on me last night. What the hell was I supposed to do," she snapped back at him.

"Well, for starters you could have stuck around and dealt with it like an adult, instead of acting like one of my teenage daughters," Elliot threw back at her.

Her mouth opened and then shut again. He allowed himself a smirk of victory. Oops, maybe that smirk wasn't a good idea because now he was on the end of an icy glare.

He let out a deep sigh. Setting the coffee cup down, he closed the distance between them. She stared up at him defiantly.

"Look, I can't and won't take back what I said last night. We can either deal with it or we can ignore it. If we ignore it... I know you. There's going to be a cold freeze in the bullpen. I don't wanna fight with you, Liv," he said gently.

Her shoulders slumped and Elliot pulled her against his chest wrapping her securely in his arms. He rubbed soothing circles on her back. The best way to get her to open up was to make her comfortable. At least he hoped so.

"I'm don't want to fight with you, either. It's just...you've just separated from your wife. It's perfectly normal for you to be attracted to the only other woman in your life. I mean we work in a high-risk environment. Feelings are bound to come out of nowhere. That doesn't mean we should act on them. We're partners. We can't be romantically involved. What if one of us loses our head when we're on a case? What if the brass finds out? What if-", she was cut off.

Elliot pulled back to look at her with a grin on his face. She wasn't amused, but his grin didn't go away.

"Just what the hell is so funny, Stabler", Olivia hissed.

"You are what's so funny. Jesus, you worry about every little thing. It's a wonder your hair isn't starting to turn gray. C'mon Olivia you know me well enough to know that I'm not going to jeopardize either of our careers. There's no rule that says partners can't be involved romantically. It's just frowned upon. Long as we keep it out of work, no one is going to care", Elliot stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

Olivia batted his hand away and stormed into the living room.

"That's just it, Elliot. I have to worry about these things because you won't! I'd love to be able to think with my heart instead of my head, but I have to be the logical one between the two of us. Being your partner is one thing but being...whatever it is you want me to be is another! I don't know how to be someone's girlfriend anymore. All I know is how to be a cop. Hell, that's all you know how to be anymore. It's just what we've become now"

Elliot trailed behind her saying nothing until she stopped to take a breath.

"Liv, you know better than that. If all you knew how to be were a cop, you wouldn't get so involved personally with the victims. If I were just a cop, I wouldn't lose my head over every case we have involving kids. I wanna get back to the person that I was before we became so jaded. I know you do too. You can't do that if you refuse any kind of intimacy with someone. Right now, the only person I can share everything with is you. That's never gonna change. Yes, I am your partner and that's what makes this easier for me. I don't have to tell you about the horrors we see everyday because you're right there with me. At the end of the day, we can't share that with anyone else. We only have each other"

Olivia was silent, having no comeback. Elliot gently took her hand and pulled over to the couch. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. Her arm came up to rest around his neck and she hid her face in the crook of his neck. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head and wrapped both his arms around her. This should be easy damnit. He hadn't missed the part about her wanting to think with her heart instead of her head. Maybe he should just be glad he had her in his life at all. That she hadn't asked for a transfer as soon as he let those words leave his mouth last night. He knew Olivia though. She wouldn't do that. Distance herself from him sure and suddenly he was afraid she just might do that.

He felt wetness on his neck and he realized she was crying and that her body shook softly with sobs. His hand cupped her chin and he tilted her face upward to look at him. Her eyes were rimmed with red and her cheeks were red. He hated to see Liv cry, but now he was the reason she was crying. His lips brushed hers tentively and he was amazed when her arm tightened around his neck. She returned the kiss, her lips parting ever so slightly. Not wanting to push her any further than he already had, he pulled away and offered her one of his trademark Stabler smiles.

"I don't wanna be alone anymore, El", Liv said quietly.

His mouth closed over hers once again. This time it was a kiss of love and understanding. An unspoken agreement to always be there for each other.

When they parted they were both smiling. They stayed that way for about five minutes, just enjoying the silence. That was until Elliot broke it.

"Hey, Liv", he began.

"Yeah", she replied.

"You know, I would never say anything to risk bodily harm to myself, but..."

"But what?"

"You really stink".

Her eyes narrowed at him and he grinned. She knew that grin. That was the grin she got when he was right about something and she was wrong. That grin he got when he was chewing on a pen, namely hers. She balled up her fist and moved quickly to strike at him. He was faster though and one of his arms slipped under her knees. Elliot lifted her off the ground easily and dropped her onto the couch. She shrieked and pulled him down with her. He landed on top of her with an 'oomph'. Her hands dropped to his side and began to tickle him mercilessly.

One Hour Later

She was curled up against his chest, her breathing deep and even. His arm was slung around her waist in a possessive manner. They had moved from the couch to her bedroom, purely to have more space. Of course it was no different than them being on the couch, except they actually had the option for more room. Not that they had put it to use. Liv was laying half across his chest and their legs were tangled together. He grunted when he felt her move away from him and extract her legs. Elliot opened one eye and saw her slipping out of the room. He rolled over onto his side and fell back into a peaceful slumber.

She quietly shut the door to the bathroom and began to shed her clothes. Elliot was right, she did stink. With a flick of her wrist she twisted the water valve and allowed steam to fill the bathroom. She scooped her dirty clothes up off the floor and dropped them in the hamper. She opened the shower door and stepped under the stream with a sigh of pleasure. She pulled the door shut behind her, letting the steam surround her. Her muscles ached from running so long this morning and the water felt wonderful. More than anything she wished she had a live in masseuse to massage her aching muscles after a long day at work. She was certain Elliot would be more than happy to help her out. She quickly shut the door on that train of thought. She was still very tentative about the events that had happened this afternoon. She had decided to just let him take the lead. Then she wouldn't spend hours second-guessing his actions or words and the reasons behind them.

It wasn't like she hadn't ever thought of this happening, but her partner had always been happily married. It had been something of a forbidden fantasy. Something she entertained from time to time, but knew without a doubt it would never happen. Now, her world had been turned upside down and shaken like a snow globe. She never thought the day would come that Kathy would leave her husband. They had always seemed so loving and so trusting of one another. That was until Elliot clammed up on his wife and refused to talk about anything work related. Would only share it with Olivia. It was a twisted sense of protection actually. By refusing to talk to his wife about cases he was actually hurting her more than helping her.

Olivia couldn't blame him though. After the debacle with Reporter Gansby, Olivia would never talk about another case to anyone she didn't work with. She had actually been the slightest bit afraid that night in her apartment. What kind of man wanted to role-play as a rapist? Then, again what man would try to role play such a thing with a cop? She had screwed up that night by turning her back on him, but she had been afraid of doing bodily harm to the skinny little twerp. After him, dating hadn't seemed quite so important anymore. She wasn't even sure she remembered how to date actually. She had a feeling though. That feeling told her that Elliot was bound and determined to help her remember.


End file.
